Feeling Stuck and Getting Unstuck
A vulnerable post about where I'm at in life, the physics of self-help, and how I'm unstuck'ing myself
Feeling Stuck
I've always been someone who knew exactly what I wanted and how to achieve it. I'd set a goal and a deadline, break it into small, reasonable tasks, and set out to accomplish it.
But recently, that's changed.
It's not that I don't have end goals—I do—but I don't know where to start.
I have an idea of the life I want, but given the many options available, I'm unsure which path to take.
Consequently, I'm scared to take action because I fear making the wrong choice, amplified by time's finitude.
And now I'm stuck in this stagnant energy, feeling like I'm standing in quicksand, quickly sinking every second I do nothing.
So I have two options: either sit here and allow myself to sink further, or take the first step – any step — and start working toward my goals.
As the (self-proclaimed) resilient optimist, I chose the latter.
Using Physics To Get Unstuck
Interestingly enough, the laws of physics can offer great insights into the world of self-development.
Last year, when I was experiencing a similar feeling of stagnation, I confided in a friend who shared a fascinating perspective.
He introduced the notion of applying physics to personal development, drawing his wisdom from Newton's first law of motion, the Law of Inertia.
The Law of Inertia: Where Physics Meets Personal Development
The Law of Inertia states that an object at rest stays at rest, and an object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by some outside force.
The Law of Inertia can also be applied to human behavior; stagnant behavior remains stagnant until an outside force (like the desire for a reward) urges the object (us) to take some action.
That said, if we remain at rest, we will stay at rest, and the only way to change this is to take action.
Our actions don't have to be big or small or directly related to our goals. The point is to create energy and momentum through movement, which will ultimately help us achieve our goals.
How I'm Getting Out Of The Quicksand (and how you can, too)
Since not making a decision is also a decision, I’m taking three small steps to help me gain mental clarity, confidence, and trust in myself to start working toward my goals.
If you’re in the same position as I am, maybe these three steps can help you, too:
Step One: shifting from mindless consumption to mindful creation.
This step involves reducing screen time and logging out of all personal social media, except for Substack.
I cannot wholly log off social media since I'm a content creator for a separate account, so I must remain slightly active. That said, I plan to limit my screen time to 15 minutes daily, with three sets of five-minute intervals for social media use.
Otherwise, I'm only allowing myself to engage in intellectually stimulating activities such as reading, learning a new skill, and watching historical documentaries (my guilty pleasure).
Regarding mindful creation, I plan to participate in activities that involve active engagement and contribute to personal growth, such as writing, journaling, or DIY art projects.
Step Two: do one small thing daily to help me achieve my end goal.
Step two is closely related to step one.
This means dedicating at least 1-2 hours daily to learning a new skill through online courses, conducting research, and networking with knowledgeable individuals for guidance and advice.
Step Three: Shifting mindsets — let go, embrace the present moment, and let the dots connect
I feel confused about what to do next because I have always been someone who knew exactly what they wanted and how to achieve it. Not knowing is uncomfortable for me, perhaps due to a lack of faith and a need to control.
Whenever I lack faith, I turn to this quote by Steve Jobs, which has really resonated with me: “You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So, you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”
Job’s quote reminds me that the best thing I can do for myself is to lean into my faith and trust that everything I do in the present moment will make sense in the future, even if it doesn’t make sense now.
Until the dots connect, it’s essential to let go of attachment to outcomes, live in the present moment, and have the courage to follow my intuition, trusting that it’ll lead me down the right path.
Bringing It All Together
When applying the Law of Inertia, what matters most is taking that first step to build momentum.
And when building momentum, it’s crucial to maintain hope that everything will work out as needed.
The gap between where I am and where I want to be might be significant, and with my 26th birthday around the corner, the pressure is more profound.
For now, all I know is that the best thing I can do is find the courage to take the first step and allow all the other steps to flow naturally.
By shifting my focus to optimistic possibilities instead of potential failures and having the courage to take the first step into the unknown, the path toward my goals will naturally flow before me, and I'll eventually find my way.